Letter from John – Quit Grippin’ It’s Almost Over!

posted by Uncle John @ 18:25 PM
February 17, 2011

Letter to Earth End Editors:

 Oh please!  Tell Jude to clamp he’s trap and shut it up!  All he’s ever doin’ es gripe, gripe, gripe.  So thes shers winter’s been hard on all o’ us.  What did he ‘xpect from winter in thes’ times o’ Global Warmin’?  Rebecca Black writtin in USA Live last October that them fellas at NOAA (tell Jude that means the National Oceanic and Atmosphere Administration) “we are in for another winter of extremes.”  En that out thar in the Pacific Northwest it was gonna be wetter and colder than they usually expected.  En, like Jael’s been tellin’ us that’s ‘xtactly what happened!  Don’t Jude even read no more?

 En while he’s grippin’ so much tell him that thes’ Associated Press  (AP) said jus’ this month that every one o’ us livin’ back East ‘s having hard times ‘n thes winter’s weather.  Thar’s more people with broken bones from fallin off roofs try’n ta knock off snow, even lossin’ fingars from them thar snow blowers, en heart attacks from shovelin’ so much dang snow then ever’s been afor’.  These docs say that them injured records jus’ keep goin’ up and up after each snow storm roars thru’ our places.  What’s his problem?  Jude ain’t broke nothin’ yet is he?

 En tell Jude them docs say people’s gettin’ hurt cause they ain’t exercisn’ themselves so inste’d a writtin’ them thar letters complain’ to you, he need’s ta get him lazy self off da’ couch en move them arms en legs.  En too if he can get his ole’ broke down truck going, he needs ta go down ta them Red Cross peoples and give some blood.  AP seys the’s low 19,000 blood donations cause peoples can’t get out in thes’ sher snows stormin’.

 But it don’t matter cause Jude ain’t gonna list’n to enythang.  Just tell him ta’ order those wholesale Christian t-shirts and keep thinkin’ summer’s comin’, summer’s comin’.  Heck, t’ain’t a lie.  It’s just ‘round the corner nyway––ain’t it?  But it ain’t gonna matter no way.  Thes shere ole man Jude, ‘ill just complain some more then!

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