Archive for January 27th, 2012


The All-Kids Special Animal News Edition, Part 2

posted by Newspaper Boys @ 15:49 PM
January 27, 2012

 HURRY!  HURRY! HURRY!  Get your latest news about adults attacking helpless animals in this edition of Earth End-New Beginning.   Hot off the Presses for Newspaper Boys and Girls, Intl., (NBGI):  Are people really going crazy?

 For instance, take a look at this latest, latest, very latest news flash:  They are eating elephant meat in Thailand!  Can you hear that?  Killing elephants, not just for their ivory tusks, but now slaughtering them for food!  Officials in charge of animal safety in Thailand are horrified.  And they should be!

 Look, us kids are jumping up and down with anger.  This is absolutely shameful behavior.  Look at yesterday’s Associated Press News Release (AP) Damrong Phidet, director-general of Thailand’s Wildlife Agency said:  “The poachers took away the elephants’ sex organs and trunks . . . for human consumption . . . Some meat [is] consumed without cooking . . . .”

 Phidet then said, “If you keep hunting elephants for this, then they’ll become extinct!”  Well dah!!  Then the AP report glibly claims:   “Consuming elephant meat is not common in Thailand, but some Asian cultures believe consuming animals’ reproductive organs can boost sexual prowess.”

 Is that it?  Is that all grown-up adult people think about?  Ugh.  It is sickening.  Oh no wait––there’s also the money.  Elephant’s tusks sell for $ 31,600 to $ 63,000 while an elephant’s private part sells for about $ 950.00.
 
 Ugh! and triple ugh!  Are those two things all grown-ups want?  First Asian companies used elephants to haul for the logging industry, and for clown acts in circuses.  Now that most of the wood is gone and kids can get circus shows on pac-man games and such, people no longer need elephants, so they eat them?

 Just when we were about to take a breather, another story hit the wires:  A federal judge in Nevada now says it is o.k. to “round up” (i.e. slaughter?) Mustangs!  Mustangs?  Is he crazy too?  Colleen Curry of ABC News says horses can now be legally butchered in the United States “for human consumption.”

 Egad!  Like Thailand, we are going to kill our prize animals to ship them overseas for other people to eat.  Its about money again.  David Duquette, president of United Horsemen, arguing to lift the ban on horse slaughter, said:  “It’s basic economics.  Horses used to be a $102 billion a year industry, with at least 500,000 direct jobs in horse industry. That’s been cut in half.” So now we make movies about great horses, while we kill and sell them overseas for ‘greeders’ to chomp!

 This is all just too much.  Us kids are exasperated, cause adults have just gone plain insane.  So we are going to print plus size Christian sweatshirts with Apostle John’s prayer.  When The LORD Jesus said, “Surely I come quickly,”  John answered, “Even so, come, LORD Jesus (Revelation 22: 20).” Please hurry LORD!

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