Archive for August 4th, 2011

Can’t Ya’lls Do Somthang To Shut Her Up?

posted by Maybellyne Markee @ 10:59 AM
August 4, 2011

Jude gets a call from his long forgotten cousin, Maybellyne.

 Maybellyne:  Hello Jude!  This is yoush cousin Maybellyne Markee.  How’s ya been?  I’s been wantn’ to call ya. Somethang’s truly botherin’ me. 

 Jude:  I’ve been o.k. Mabel.  How’s ya been?  What ken I do’s for you?

 Maybellyne:  Say listen Jude, don’t ya en them peoples ya pray with read this shyre woman calls herself Jael on Earth End––New Beginning?

 Jude:  Yes em’ that’s the truth.  We’s prays fer her and reads her eber day.

 Maybellyne:  Wells cyn’t youse peoples do sumethang to shut her up? All she dues all da time es put fears in peoples and droons on en on bout des en thyt.

 Jude:  But, but Maybellyne Jael’s only try’n to warn peoples ‘bout . . .

 Maybellyne:  But nuthin’ Jude.  Listen yhar I likes mah life and mah wyrldly  playures just like they es, en ain’t nothin changin’ it, so she ken stop droonin’ on en on bout this yhar Globle Warmin’ stuff.  It ain’t nottun but thes’ sun, dat’s all tis to it!

 Jude:  Jael’s jus tryen to git peoples to see the truth afore its too late.

 Maybellyne:  Truth smoyt!  Mines dadde tole me da truth yars ago.  En it sticks wid me tadey!  Ain’t nothin’ changin’ he sey.  Dis world gonna ‘main till kengdum cum!  Came on now Jude, dat’s da gospel truth and ya knows it. I tells ya, ain’t nothin’ changing.  So dis yhar Jael peirson, women, whoeber it is, hed best stop tryin’ da scarey folk talkin ‘bout weathar changings en stuffs.

 Jude:  Maybellyne Cen’t ya just tell da truths tha’ its hotter now en yours hollow thin’ its ebber ben?  Cen’t ya see what happenen’ cross da country?

 Maybellyne:  Well jumpin je frogs!  My pappy tole me it was just dis hot back en 1793, en his dadde tole him. Dat sun jus’ gonna shine! Dat’s all it is!

 Jude:  I’s tryin’ to bes calm wit ya Mabel but dis yshar es imposibl.  Ya jes won’t face da truth.  It ain’t ne’re ben thes hot afore, en eben more, ets gonna git hotter.  En des shar worse strongess ternados en hurrcans eber, don’t ya know dat?

 Maybellyne: Da’s jes weber! Des jes storms! En tain’t nothen nyws bout it!

 Jude:  Does ya read da newspapers or dat thar internet? We does all da time!
En we nos’ Jael tellin’ da truth.  We’s chack’d up on des stuff on ours own!  Listen!

 Maybellyne:  Nope tain’t listen’ to no more dis shar foolishness!  I go now!

 Jude:  Ok. Ok. afore ya hang up, will ya just come to our’s party des month?
Me en John en da girls, we gets ours neighbors plus size Christian t-shirts, en we’s opens da hydrants fer da kids en play dodge balls, en we’s cook all kinds o’ food!

 Maybellyne:  Sounds lak lots o’ fun.  Is dat thar Jael gonna come, en thems prayen women news people?  En thems I.E. Plexus peoples, Taryn en them?

 Jude:  Yep!  Membor dat thar Bibles verse: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother”
(Proverbs 18:24).  Us Christians brothern en sistars must love more en da last days!

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