Animal Story Updates From Everywhere by The Newspaper Kids

posted by Newspaper Boys @ 13:20 PM
August 16, 2012

Okkkkk Again.  It’s me, John J. Jr., senior internet newspaper delivery person here in the U.S.  We promised the people we would update them on urgent animal stories from ‘round the world.   Ok Sissy you’re up first.

Sissy:  Well these new breeds of spiders have been showing up all over the place.  Police suspect tarantulas killed two people in India, but it may be other kinds of black spiders.  They killed them, and put scads more in the hospital.

    Australia is use to what they call red-back spiders. Its related to that there awful black widow spider. And now theys invading Britain, along with the German Cockroach and Pharaoh Ant.  At least that’s what our boy in the U.K. said Antonella Lazzeri from thesun.co.uk told him.

Here in the U.S. one man found 40 of these here deadly brown recluse spiders in his apartment.  Our boy in L.A. says that Brown Widow Spiders is seen everywhere there.  And in Chicago, after three women died, health department inspectors found they had all used the toilet at a restaurant near the airport.

When them health cops lifted the lid in that bathroom, they found them extremely deadly South American Blush Spiders.  It turns out them spiders were flown here from South America.  They found them spiders’ nests on four airplanes.

John J. Jr.:  Ugh.  That enough o’ that girl.  You’re making me sick already! Farley, you got somethin’ otta Florida?  So shoot!

Farley:  Well if that’s making you sick, wait till you here this.  Those rotten big python snakes has just ‘bout taken over the Florida everglades, running all other animals there into––what’s that Jael word?  Yeah, extinction, that’s right.

    Well just this week theys caught a 12 foot long female Burmese python.  Yep, and she weighed 164 pounds!  And get this: she had 87 snake eggs inside her! Our kid down there got the story from an AP reporter, Matt Sedensky.

Allie:  John J. we’s running outta time.  What about my millon stray dogs, and escaped chimps stories and oh yea, mountain lions sitting in public parks?

John J. Jr.:  I know Allie. Listen, we just got word that Jael is planning a three day conference on the End Times and Global Warming, and she wants us kids to head a panel.  What ‘bout we research our animal stories more and and add Bible background to them, like the insects taking over Egypt in the book of Exodus.

These killer animals do seem to be everywhere.  Rev. Repriestly sent me these Bible verse cards about animals and Global Warming in these last days:

“They shall be burnt with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with bitter destruction: I will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the poison of serpents of the dust (Deuteronomy 32: 24).”  And “ . . . Death, and Hell followed . . . And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with . . .with the beasts of the earth (Revelation 6: 8b).”

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